Letter's to ES. One,

ES,

I want to write your first name on here so badly.

The name with a million personalities

the name that breaks my heart every day.

Some may think I have the saddest life,

first 'him' and of course now you, ES.

Oh, but it doesn't stop there.

DO NOT think I haven't suffered like this before

Because I have

sure there was EB...but he's a senior

he never even spoke a word to me,

it was solely based on looks

and his beautiful pure smile.

Thats why I liked EB.

But ES, and 'him'

the one I am newly over.

They are held closer to my heart,

for reasons I may never even know

Reasons unspoken to many.

Only heard by a mere two ears.

My best friend.

it's actually sort of strange.

you my friend (ES)

never really appealed to me much at all.

you SURELY are not my usual "type"

1. You'll never love me oh, wait...

2. You are in fact Black.

3. You're a complete and total jock

4. You hang out with the beautiful popular girls, minus that one bird face

It makes me smile just thinking about how everything started.

i won't go into detail because OF COURSE you already know who this is.

so how we met, and began talking is not an important factor.

Because you and I both know

It's nothing special, but to me it started this whole mess

That's all for now ES.

I really do think I love you.

Until my heart gives out.

I love you.

Letter's to my Love. Nine, (last letter to you)

Hello love.

guess what?

I can no officially say i am 100 percent over you!

YES!

I am so proud of myself, although I fear a simple sweet comment or pleasant hello will make me fall for you again, I can finally breath.

So this is Goodbye for now.

I will start writing to my new love

My Heart gave out, and it has found anew

OH. And to the dumb BITCH. who took away everything you were, and made you a complete obnoxious jerk.

Fuck you.

He's all yours now.

♥

Letter's to my Love. Eight,

Hello my dear sweet love...

Please accept my apology.

I have given up on everything good

Until You realize that i'm the one that understands you

...and we truly WERE meant to be.

Do me a favor?

Don't talk to me.

Not even a single word,

It hurts to much...

When you walk away,

without a single word to say

I talk to much,

So this is goodbye,

Until you make me understand why I love you.

My heart has given out,

Until it is fixed,

I love you.

Letter's to my Love. Seven,

Thank you so much,

When she walked up to you and offered a hug, you turned

it away, maybe i'm wrong but i think it was because you knew i would be jealous, and you knew it would hurt the hell out of me.

I think I love you again

I want to tell you about this other boy,

It wont make you mad because you don't like me "like that"

and I want to talk about him...

His name won't be mentioned, just ask me, I'll probably tell you

Stupid boy.

He's driving me crazy

Just like you do my love.

He's so great, we became such good friends, and now he's not even talking to me anymore!

Are all guys the same?

Ruining girls lives is like a hobby

Like baseball or Call of Duty..

God it hurt so much when he stopped talking to me

whenever I see him i want to cry

He looks so good.

He's not my usual "type"

but he's just great

Unfortunately he's in the popular crowd

and all his girl-friends (not in a relationship sense)

are beautiful

I want to be beautiful

I want to be everything that I'm not

I want to be his everything

I'm sorry, these letters are supposed to be to you,

about you

but honestly you're one of my good friends

and I can talk to you about anything right?

And you'll always be there?

That's what you said.

That takes me back to those summer nights,

Nothing romantic

Just two friends hanging out in the neighborhood

alone at night.

It could have been so much more then it was...

But when you recited it out, and said we needed to do that more often

It made me think that it meant something to you

I mean obviously it did,

It had enough importance for you to remember it.

Until my heart gives out,

I love you.

Letter's to my Love. Six,

Hello love,

I don't really feel like commenting on your behavior today so instead i'll just show you how I wish it was.

One day, when you find the girl of your dreams treat her like this..

hopefully it will be me,

Things boys should do for girls;

Things you should do/understand for me.

We like it when a man can hold a conversation with us that has nothing to do with sex.

We like to know that we can trust our man, no matter what. So don't eyeball everything that walks in front of you while you’re with your girl.

Boys need to understand that money alone will not keep a relationship.
->We need more money than you have.
->We will make more than you, someday ;)

We need to know that we can count on you. That means for example that you don’t postpone a date with your girl just because you want to go to a football game with your buddies.

We want to know that we can trust you and that you trust us.

Don't think that you can go away (doing whatever you want to do) and think that she is going to sit at home next to the phone, just waiting for you to call!! If you can hang out with your friends she can do it too.

We may forgive, but we never forget anything.

We love to hear we're beautiful, sometimes.

Tell her that you love her. She can’t read your mind.

Be spontaneous! Don’t just take us out for dinner and a movie, do something special.

Don't always expect us to call you. The phone works both ways!!

Birthdays, V-day, & Anniversaries are important to us...

If YOU kiss us… Know that we're going to expect you to call us!!! Don't be an *** about it! YOU MADE THE FIRST MOVE!!

If we have a big game, meeting, competition, or any kind of important
event…WE EXPECT YOU TO BE THERE!!

Don't brag about the size of your manhood, it just makes you look really stupid.

Once we break up or break things off.. It's WRONG to be interested or to date a close friend of ours! Even if we say we don’t care.

Be there for us when we need you. This can be with a smile, a call, a kiss, a hug, a
visit or just by listening to us.

We like and want sex just as much as you guys do.

Do some thinking and come up with a cute name for us and don’t dare to give us the same one as you gave your ex-girlfriend!!

Hold her hand all the time.

Treat us specially! Open doors for us, give us your coat when we‘re cold, don't let us walk near the curb carry her purse and so on…

Watch whatever we want to watch and don’t complain!!!

Every girl is different, so whatever you do, make it as personal as possible.

Boys should go up to girls and just talk to them, they should have the b*lls to do that.

Be Confident girls know when you get nervous. AND IT ISN’T SEXY.

We definatly like guys that aren't afraid to dirty dance with us even if they don't know us!

So like, talk to us and let us know how u feel, but also understand that u aren't the only guy who is our friend.

Girls love it when they get hugged from behind.

Girls love it when the guy seems as if he cant get enough of her, e.g. holding hands, random kissing on lips/nose/neck

For some unknown reason even to us, its true that some girls are attracted to assholes.

When a girl calls you up, SHE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU. Not a 3 minute conversation doing, it makes her feel wanted.

Not all girls masturbate...we just don't and no we are not lying.

We hate porn.

Hmmmm...guys in Jeeps...yummmm...

We think about you all the time.

We are not your all-night restaurant.

Anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month cannot be held against us. [for all the guys who are saying huh? it means PERIOD]

If you hold our hand while you are driving we will be thoroughly impressed.

You look hot in Polo Shirts and Timberland Shoes.

If you think for any reason that we don't like you then we probably don't.

Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, and cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere.

If you're developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes.


We need:

1. Protection: and if you really love her then you will be who she needs you to be. If you can't do that, maybe you're NOT the right guy for her.

2. Romance: Do your best as far as this one goes, guys, I know its a tough one.

3. Fun: THE KEY TO GIRLS IS FUN!! but above anything, sense of humour counts the most. Make a girl laugh and the guy will automatically be 10x hotter in her eyes - make a girl laugh and you can make a girl do anything.

4. Compliments: Girls need chocolate candys and compliments to survive.

5. Comfort: When you're girl is feeling down on herself or about life in general, you're going to have to figure out your own way to make her feel better. But, being cute and nice are usually a good place to start. Start off by listening to her, ask her to tell you what's bothering her and listen to what she has to say. Then its a good idea to find some sort of chocolate or ice cream and fix it up for her, and then do something fun with her.

Until my heart gives out,

I love you.

Letter's to my Love. Five,

Why are you so obnoxious?

You walk around like you own this damn place.

You think you're the funniest guy in the world.

I hate you.

I hate you so much,

...so much that I love you.

You know what, fuck you...

All the time and effort i put into this "relationship" and i can't even get a hello?

What's happend to you?

As you already know i saw you today, first at the bus stop, with 'her'

who i absolutely hate with all my heart,

then again on the after school bus.

I can only pretend i don't care but on the inside i'm absolutely dying.

and the story continues, i guess...

I honestly wasn't expecting perfection, I wasn't expecting washboard abs or the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen. I was only expecting someone special..

and thats what you were,

You were special.

You took off your helmet and there you were,

You introduced yourself trying to be funny, it worked

I talked back, you talked back we had a conversation and I Loved It.

The little ones knew.

they knew i had feelings for you, immense and intense feelings that just wouldn't go away, and i actually enjoyed those feelings.

Everything was perfect, we clicked right away

smiles and giggles,

you wanted me to ride on your dirt bike with you

and at the time I said no, I wanted to though, so badly.

I wanted to be alone.

only me and you, but honestly i was fine with how it was, it was good enough for me, i was perfectly content with the moment and I wanted nothing more then to stay right there forever and ever, caught in the moment, deep in love.

And today, January 26th 2009, you ruined it...

you ruined it by walking away.

unfortunately I can't, and never will let you go,

Until my heart gives out,

I love you.

"everything, was everything, but everything is over,

everything could be everything

if only we were older

I guess it's just

a silly song about you

and how I lose you

and your brown eyes."

-lady gaga

Letter's to my Love. Four,

And the story continues....

For about two weeks nothing special happened. I went on with my daily routine, and honestly I forgot about you, knowing you were literally right there gave me inspiration for my art, and poems... but you were not my main priority

It was sixth grade at the time and my mind wasn't fully developed, and being in ninth grade now i'm sure it still isn't.

Meeting you wasn't a thought in my head, but rather normal things like; what color should I paint my room? or what should i wear tomorrow?

I was being driven to school, and wouldn't start taking my new bus (your bus) until the upcoming monday, I was in fact very nervous, I wasn't starting a new school but fear of being judged was and still is a big factor in my life

So i waited patiently, the weather continued to get more and more beautiful as spring approached, and one friday I found myself outside finishing up on my weekend homework.

While my brother and sister played I sat on the bench and answered math questions, confused as usual, but the breeze made the usual stress disperse.

I decided to take a break and just enjoy the wind, I watched my younger siblings riding on scooters and bikes and all of a sudden there were at least six or seven kids i had never seen before in my driveway.

My sister and brother found some new friends and I was happy for them, but still i'm more of the shy type so i didn't exactly want to join them.

Until I saw you...

I was flabbergasted,

completely shocked and filled with a sudden burst of anxiousness and fear.

Fear of rejection, fear of love.

Riding on your famous, now way old dirt biked I watched as you turned and twisted obviously showing off, I hugged my legs into my body and tried to hide behind the oversize bush and watch from afar as the kids of the neighborhood interacted.

Each one I still hold close to my memory.

The first girl who caught my eye looked to be about five, she was full of life and smiles, her and her brother enjoyed playing on there bikes. Two sisters joined them, and there were two other boys also riding bikes.

And then there was you...

My thought was interrupted by the sound of running coming down the driveway, it was my sister

She is only two years younger then me.

"COME PLAY, COME PLAY, EVERYONE WANTS TO MEET YOU!" she demanded, I ignored her, at the time I didn't want to.

She ran off, giving up a little to easy.

I fiddled with my books and pens until, finally I built up enough courage to join everyone.

I counted the steps taken in my head, each one felt longer then the last, and i could tell everyone was looking right at me,

fortunately you were not there at the time, but instead down the block with the other two boys in matching dirt bike helmets.

I introduced myself, and the small girl spoke

"I'm five, my brother is ten and so is she, her sister is eleven, the three boys down there are eleven, twelve, and thirteen". Of course she used there names but i will not repeat them on here...

I was talking to them all, very mature for there age, and very cute and kind...

The bikes 'vroomed' up the road, loudly, I panicked and fiddled with my thumbs...

And everything stopped...

There will of course be more to this story,

Until my heart gives out

I love you.

Letter's to my Love. Three,

I'm scared my love, scared of the fact that we're drifting apart, we can't even hold a conversation anymore.

I think I've found someone else, maybe it is someone wh

o doesn't acknowledge me, but he's gorgeous, looks aren't supposed to play a part in this, but being a teenager you really can't blame me.

He's older, he's seventeen, three years older then us.

He's Perfect, in every way apart from the fact that he doesn't even notice me.

But you always pull me back into this sick relationship, you're getting everything you need and i'm only getting half, it's unfair really.

Until my Heart gives out.

I love you.

Letter's to my Love. Two,

Hello again my love, i just got back from school and I was

actually thinking about you the entire day. I forgot the fact that you wouldn't be in today, so on the bus ride home i thought about how much more fun it would've been if you were there.

Things aren't easy in my life right now, i'm utterly confused. Am I crazy for expressing my feelings on the internet for the world to see? Am I crazy for creating a website solely to send you imaginary letters? And the question I wonder most often; Am I crazy for loving you?

It's hard to think about how things used to be, for example when i first met you, and this is where the story continues...

As I was saying, I thought i would never see you again, you were gone forever and there was nothing i could do about it until my parents decided that the house we had found was the one.

I was filled with joy, I loved the look of the new house and the promise it told, the promise i would in fact get to see you again.

I spent every single day fantasizing about meeting you, moving into the new house...

When the day finally came I was ecstatic.

Leaving my best friend was hard, but in the hopes of finding a new one, one who could one day be MORE then a best friend, made the negative thought leave my head.

Sitting here now, cold and alone on a rainy day, I think about what you're doing right now, wondering if I ever cross your mind.

trust me, the story will continue...

Until My heart gives out

I love you.

Letter's to my Love. One,

Hello. It is late my thoughts run wild as i prepare to see you tomorrow. It is 12:26 and I am up alone. I see you every day. You live across the street from me, and we are friends.

Tell me why you act the way you do? Why no matter what I do, or how much time i spend with

you, you never seize to confuse me.

I don't understand most boys but you, my friend are among the most confusing. Ever since i first laid eyes on you, I can honest to God say, that i knew you were the one. Maybe not right then, and there but one day. I remember it so clearly, and i will explain with as much detail as I possibly can.

To be honest i don't remember the exact date but i do know it was one surprisingly warm day in March, for New York at least.

Me and my family were searching for a new home, not very far from our old one, ten or twenty miles at most. But my parents were getting bored of the old house and wanted a new start.

They had tried for around a year with no success, but when we pulled into the development, we knew that there was something special about it. We drove slowly, taking in everything when suddenly, there you were. Your red dirt bike flew up the street, and for some reason i knew i loved you.

Why did i feel this? What brought it upon me? I couldn't tell you, but I didn't want to let that feeling slip.

So i didn't and when you looked me in the eyes through your helmet everything felt perfect, and then in an instant you were gone.

I thought I would never see you again, and my heart was broken in two.

But my love, it is late, and tomorrow there is school, I will see you then.

Until My heart gives out.

I love you.